Relationships & support

People can protect recovery, increase risk, or do both at different times. The goal is not simply to remove relationships. It is to build connection that does not depend on one exhausted relative or one high-risk social world.

Last reviewed: 6 August 2026

Illustration of a person connected to different relationships and social influences

Support without rescuing

Boundaries can be calm and specific

A useful boundary describes what you will or will not do. It is different from trying to control another adult’s behaviour. Boundaries work best when they are discussed during a calm period rather than argued about during intoxication or crisis.

Money

“I can help with food or a bill directly, but I’m not able to give cash.”

Intoxication

“I want to talk about this, but not while either of us is shouting or you are intoxicated. We can return to it later.”

Practical support

“I can help with this appointment, but I can’t manage every call or crisis for you.”

Relationship map

Where would you place these examples?

There is no score. Relationships can move between zones as circumstances change.

A friend who checks in without pressureA group where the old routine is expectedA relative who helps but is exhaustedA key worker or practitionerA relationship that feels supportive some days and risky on others

Reduces risk0 placed

Mixed / uncertain0 placed

Increases risk0 placed

Professional / crisis support0 placed

Replace, do not just remove

Belonging needs somewhere to go

If a person steps away from a social network built around alcohol, drugs, gambling or another shared routine, they can lose companionship, status and identity at the same time. A plan that only removes contact can create a vacuum.

Keep low-pressure supportive contact easy to reach.
Build more than one source of support.
Include ordinary social life, not only treatment or recovery activity.
Notice relationships that are mixed: protective in some ways and risky in others.

Safety comes first

Some relationships need a safeguarding response

Domestic abuse, coercion, exploitation, violence and financial control are not problems to solve through better family communication alone. Safety planning and appropriate professional or safeguarding pathways may be needed.

Evidence links

Sources and further reading

Map the network

Look at support as an environment

Try a short relationship-mapping activity below, then use the complete workbook for deeper boundary and support planning.

See the complete workbook →